Rachel88 I have all ways wondered why people think once i say i forgive them all is settled.... but see i can't forgive till i know that they have the same pain as me. Cruel but still there is no other way to make them understand how i felt. As when we did something to a friend, cruel what we did but really know he knows how i felt and as his emotions unravel his anger betrayel will be matched to mine..... I can't talk about what i feel because they all become confused and unsure in my heart. When i do things in actions it will show how i felt... Even if it means leaving a friend..... in a way im happy he is mad at me, so then i know there is some one else i can't hurt in the long run..... I have to send them away sometime's so i can't hurt them any more..... Why do i do this? I don't wait someone to put faith on me when in the long run i will let them down and hard
Rachel88 I like how people think that they can sneak behind people's backs and make the others person believe that there is nothing going on. Well funny story that my to friends thought they can get away with something so stupid that in the end only killed the little hope of trust I had. I would not have been this mad, disappointed, and (my fav) betrayed if they only told me sooner. If only they remembered a little saying secretes don't make friends, no, they only distroy them. What shall happen now. What would anyone do I an area like this. Remove themselves from sositiy? Or cut their arm senseless? Or cry themselves to sleep from now on for a while till the feeling of betrayel were's off? Yes they all sound good but which one. Yes they sound more like punishment to me well, Right-o you are. See punishment to yourself teaches you never to do something so stupid again for me trusting, loving, and being happy.
Rachel88 Another Day....
Yesterday is History
Tommorow is a Mystery
But Today is the Present and that is all i care about
Rachel88 Well another Valentine's has come and like many others i will just enjoy my time not doing anything my parent as mom and step dad will be sharing all this bull of how much they love each other... i mean i never really am close to anyone... but some times i wish that i didn't need to be a fake around everyone ..... but in a sense i become who they want to hang out... so i guess that how i become "friends" with so many people.... but still if i let down my guard for a sec. the person that is so heartless will be the real me.... V-Day is just another reminder i'm alive... Just another reminder for how much i don't want to be alive